我的最...話

最常說－「得未呀？」

最討厭聽到－「算啦」

最愛說－「哼」/「pt!」

最多講－「九唔答八」

最常聽到－「正死八婆」/「bitch!」

最怕聽到－「大檸樂」/「shit!」

最荒謬－「睇相避孕」

最攪笑－「請你一半」

最無聊－「出街呀？」 

 

最互動－「你究係咯」

Let's Talk About Toilets Again

They have different names: lavatory, washroom, restroom, ladies and men, W.C., loos, John, bathroom, …
Did you notice there're small pool and big pool toilets? When dumping in a small pool, you just need to cover the water with toilet paper so water doesn't splash to your butt. If you're using big pool, sit near to the front (shallow point) and try to glide in your dump.
It's absurd people still wet the door knob when there's plenty of paper towel. If they are too lazy to wipe dry, will they bother to use soap?
Those auto-flush in the HK International Airport splashes my butt while giving birth to shit -- no escape. Maybe they're testing their toilet-bidet duet.
To enjoy a warming toilet seats is like enjoying subway seats humanly warmed up.
I can tell how unhealthy those OL are when they pee around 4 p.m. with the sound of water jets. Like me, they are all procrastinating the reply to nature's call so as to finish this task, and maybe that one too, one more one more ...
The longer you linger in the toilet, the more shit particles you breath in. Get out fast! Flush with the lid closed, for heaven's sake!

Chinese Book Review: 我討厭的10種好人 (10 Good People I Hate)

只是書名已夠給引。作者是日本人！這就更給引了。哪十種？

1. 笑容不絕的人
2. 不忘心存感謝的人 3. 喜歡看大家喜悅表情的人
4. 總是以積極態度生活的人
5. 對自已的エ作「為榮」的人
6. 重視「黑白分明」的人
7. 一有爭執就想立刻阻止的人
8. 不清楚交代事物的人
9. 會說「因為我笨呀」的人
10. 認為「我的人生沒有遺憾」的人

總括就是虛偽得自欺欺人的人。很可惜沒有「家婆」呀，「外母」呀之類。作者中島義道該是個男的。

光看目錄已夠好笑便不用出書，出明信片就賺夠了。但我只看了最前一個及最後一個。把最「抵死」的 highlight 出來吧！


笑容不絕的人 － 說到女人喜歡怎麽笑的男人: ...女人拖著疲憊身軀回到家門口，看到了「笑容不絕的男人」在門口迎接，絕對不會感到慰藉，反而想把包包往他臉上砸上去吧。 香港人稱這種笑容為「熠熟狗頭」。

認為「我的人生沒有遺憾」的人 － 副題目： 趕快滿足後去死吧！

哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 ...

Just the title is already funny enough. The author is a Japanese. That makes it more interesting. Which 10?

1. people that always smile
2. people who never forget to appreciate
3. people who love to see other people happy faces
4. people always take a positive attitude towards life
5. people who are "proud" of their jobs
6. people who value "distincting right and wrong"
7. people who would stop any dispute immediately
8. people who like clear explanations of things
9. people who always say "because I'm dumb"
10. people who think that "their lives have no regrets"

Conclusion: people who are so hypocritical that they deceive themselves. It's a pity mum-in-laws not included. The author is probably a guy.

It's funny just with the content. If they're postcards, the author must have earned a lot. I've just finished the first and last chapters. Let me highlight the gags.

people that always smile － about what kind of men that always smile women like
...Woman, goes home exhausted and sees a smiling-face-man waiting at the door, will not be comforted. Instead, she would like to throw her handbag over to his face. Hong Kongers call this kind of facial expression "a well-boiled dog's head" (meaning idiotic smile)

people who think that "their lives have no regrets" －subtitle:
Get satisfied and go to die!

Hahahahaha...