Excerpts:

If you have ... then you are ...

Acura Legend ... I'm rich and too boring for German cars
BMW ... I bought my wife
Corvette ... I'm having a midlife crisis
Honda Civic ... I'm still working on my PhD
Mazda Miata ... Whee!  I'm Peter Pan and I'm driving Minnie Mouse's slipper!
Oldsmobile ... I inherited this car from my mother
Porsche ... I have a two-inch penis
Toyota Camry ... I have children and no personality
Volvo Station Wagon ... I'm afraid of my wife

I think my husband would like to have a Ferrari ... I have difficulty expressing myself

But all he got is this go-kart ... I have a dream

He should get a Volvo Station Wagon ... I can never outsmart my wife

When he gets older, he'll end up in a trailer ... I should have listened to my wife

For me, I want him to drive BMW ~