6 Basic Sentence Structures

1. subject + verb
He drives to his office

2. subject + verb + complement
He is a good football playerHe is good at football.

3. subject + verb + object
They ride bicycles to school.

4. subject + verb + object (indirect) + object
He showed me a new short cut

5. subject + verb + object + complement
It makes our teachers sad.

6. subject + verb + object + preposition + noun/pronounSomebody patted me on the shoulder.
They provided him with a room just for his own use.He had not informed me of his accomplishment earlier.I congratulated him on his achievement.

Verbs 1 基本 -- 翻譯通症狀

香港學生有好多都患上「翻譯通症狀」。即係當正英文係由中文演變出呢咁，中文句構，英文字。呢啲「爛英文」係因為學生無認真學習英文句構，有機會接觸英文時 ( 如看英文劇或電影 )，耳仔關掉，只用眼睇中文字幕。

一個 BB 仔學母語時會眼定定睇清楚口型，擘大耳仔聽清楚，再吖大口試講「嫲」。唔多似喎，再呢。眼定定睇清楚口型，擘大耳仔聽清楚，再吖大口試講「媽」。得咗！大人又會笑作鼓勵，於是又不停地講「媽 ...... 媽 ...... 媽 ...... 」鞏固記憶；全家人，朋友，親戚 ...... 不停咁刺激 BB 求存嘅模仿系統。好快 BB 已經可以駁嘴駁舌啦！

大個咗，大腦己有邏輯思維，可以以聯繫方式學習同記嘢。 BB 求存嘅模仿系統會漸漸消失。於是學習要有系統。但系多接觸及多練習先能反應自然同快。

I am very much agree with you. 呢啲咁嘅「翻譯通症狀」就唔會出現。

I	am	very much	agree	with you.
我	系	非常	同意	你。

老師成日講 Subject (主詞) + Verb (動詞) + Object (受詞) / Complement (補語) 有冇記低？--> 冇。因為老師成日講，駛乜記？但系同學有冇唸過你唔去記，唔去練，老師就要成日講。講得多，厭嘞，淨系話同學錯。

「咁點錯呢，你又唔講。」
「What？講咗 eight thousand times 喎。subject + verb + object 喎。呢到有兩個 verbs 喎。」
「，系喎。好似好熟喎。咁我唔識英文嘛。一時唔記得啫。」「你究竟系咪認真想學英文？要我講幾多次先記得？我一次過講夠佢嘞。如果我每重復一次你比 5 蚊我，我發咗啦！」
「學呢揾食咋。有冇快速學英文？」
「你 practise 多啲密啲咪快啲囉。有捷徑，無人唔識英文啦！你揾個鬼佬鬼婆做你老竇老母，扭計要錢都要講英文，包你兩個禮拜就會英語會話！」「唓！」

Verbs 3 -- Main vs Helping

	作 Main Verb (MV)主要動詞時	作 Helping Verb (HV) 輔助動詞時 (無字意)
be(am, is, are, was, were, being, been)	Linking verb「是」之意	1. (現在／過去) 進行式 Continuous Tensesubject + (be) + V-ing (present participle 現在分詞) ... e.g. Mary is/was eating her lunch.2. 被動話態 Passive Voicesubject + (be) + V (past participle 過去分詞) ... e.g. John is/was punished by the teacher.
have (have, has, had)	Action verb「擁有*」之意 *「有」在中文除「擁有」之外，還有「存在」的意思。而英語中「存在」要用 be 。e.g. There is a dog. --> A dog is over there. 真正的 subject 並非 there 而是 a dog 。	(現在／過去) 完成式 Perfect Tensesubject + have/has/had + past participle 過去分詞 e.g. He has/had been taking care of the poor dog for a year.
do(do, does, did)	Action verb「做」之意	只限主要動詞是 action verb 時： **若句字本身已有輔助動詞時，就直接將原有的輔助動詞取代 do 之位置。 1. 構否定句 negative formsubject + do/does/did + not + MV (infinitive 原型) ... e.g. Mum did not cook dinner.      Sue cannot ride a bike.2. 構問句 question form(question word) + do/does/did+ subject + MV (infinitive 原型) ...e.g. Why does Tom wake up so early?      Can Cindy play football?

Verbs 2 基本 -- 種類

		作用	例
可作主要動詞	Linking Verbs連接動詞	告訴你主詞「是」什麽	be, become, feel
	Action Verbs 動作動詞 及物 transitive verb 不及物 intransitive verb	告訴你主詞「做」什麽	sit, learn, close
不能單獨成句	Helping Verbs 輔助動詞	輔助作疑問句、否定句、不同時式或話態。本身無字意。	be, have, do
	Modal Verbs 情態動詞	表示情況或心情	can, must, have to

最簡單句型：

	Subject + verb + complement (noun)	Subject + verb + complement (adjectives)
e.g.	Susan is a teacher. 現在式Peter was her husband. 過去式	I feel happy. 現在式She was happy. 過去式

	Subject + verb (intr.)	Subject + verb (tr.) + object
e.g.	He signs. 現在式We stopped. 過去式	He hits the ball. 現在式They ate the pizza. 過去式

每一個部分都可以唔此一個。

多 subjects： Tom and his brother run to the hill. Tom 及 his brother (復數) 都作 run 這個動作，所以 run 無須加 s。

多 verbs：Panda eats, shoots and leaves.* Panda 不單只吃 (eats)，也開槍 (shoots) 及離開 (leaves)。分開 3 句即 Panda eats. Panda shoots. Panda leaves. 三個動作分亨同一個 subject  Panda，所以每個動作都必須加 s。

多 objects：Panda eats shoots and leaves.

[* 作者Lynne Truss 一書 Eats, Shoots, & Leaves 2003 我在 Toronto, Canada downtown Marche 傍一間書店列為 best-seller。封面有一熊貓爬上梯又有一熊貓揸槍。攪咩呢？攞呢睇吓。話說一熊貓到餐廳吃了件三文治就開槍離開。侍應實感奇怪，於是攔住熊貓問佢點解要咁做。熊貓比一本百科個書佢睇。侍應揭到 panda 嗰頁：

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons. “Why?” asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. “Well, I’m a panda,” he says at the door. “Look it up.” The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. “Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”

話說一熊貓到餐廳吃了件三文治就開槍離開。侍應實感奇怪，於是問熊貓佢點解要咁做。熊貓比一本百科個書佢睇。侍應揭到 panda 嗰頁：熊貓是一隻像熊的黑白色哺乳動物，原產自中國。物們吃竹及竹葉。但無端瑞响 eats 同 shoots 之間多了個「，」即係本來作 objects 嘅 shoots 同 leaves 變成多個動詞 --> 吃、開槍及離開。]

Fair Trade

I was stopped by a university student (U.s.) outside IFC Starbucks. She asked if I could help her on the "Fair Trade" survey (of course in Chinese).

It isn't hard to understand what "fair trade" is but to what extent does "fair" go?

U.s.: Have you heard of the term "fair trade"?
Me:   Sounds familiar. May have heard.
U.s.: Do you have any idea what it means by "fair trade"?
Me:   The name says it all. No rocket science.U.s.: Do you know that Starbucks buy those coffee beans at a very low price from farmers?Me:   That's how business is done. To lower the basic cost as much as possible.
U.s.:  But if there's some cafes that sell coffee under "fair trade" conditions, would you rather buy coffee from there?
Me:   Well, as a consumer, it's coffee that I want. If they sell good coffee, plus under "fair trade" conditions, that would be perfect. But I wouldn't buy coffee from a coffee shop solely because it joins the Fair Trade. To the customers, if the quality of the product is bad, fair or not, doesn't matter anymore.
U.s.:  That's it. Thank you.

Stupid questions eh!? They have a perfect world in their mind. What's wrong buying primary material at a lower price? If farmers are deprived and coffee beans are bought at a price that barely covers the cost of production, this is a problem. Honestly, if Starbucks join the Fair Trade, I am more than glad and guilt-free to buy their a little bit more expensive coffee.

能愛嗎？

貪生怕死的人有資格去愛嗎？貪生怕死，人之常情 ... 但還有人愛嗎？

Monk 1.1.8

自己一個學 oral English 難。最好不過就是看喜歡嘅英語劇集。My favourite is Monk. All his psychological problems make him a buffoon as a private consultant (detective). 看看劇中人怎樣將複雜的情境簡單清楚的表達。

Season 1, Episode 1, Chapter 8

Captain:	... It's a single-car accident. single car accident 只一駕車嘅意外。即唔係 A 撞 B 呀，C 閃避 D 呀咁。
Monk:	No, no. No, this was no accident. There's no skid marks on the road. 經常聽到嘅句型：This/It (be) no XXX. 响 chapter 1 亦有一句 "This was no burglary." 如果查看 Cambridge dictionary (http://dictionary.cambridge.org/results.asp?searchword=no) 可見此處可作 not any 解。即強調唔係咁簡單嘅意思。
Captain:	It's wet! You're not the only detective here, Monk. I checked for skid marks. It happens all the time on this hill. You hit this curve at 85, 90 miles an hour. Ftt! Boom!
Monk:	No. No, this was staged. He was killed somewhere else. - this was staged 即塔晒舞台做場戲你睇－假咖！- else 其他。去 MacDonald's 點餐時啲人都會問你what else 重有無其他，anything else 任何其他(事/物)。
Captain:	Maybe you could tell me where this murder took place, because that would be very helpful. Maybe you could tell me ... be very helpful. 其實 Captain (Stottlemeyer) 發緊脾氣，覺得 Monk 無中生有。very helpful 可以用嚟笑人九唔答八，明明有講等如無講呀咁。响外地，有時啲售貨員當中國人透明咁我就會特別誇張咁話 Wow, thankyou VERY much. That's very helpful!
Monk:	Cole Avenue and 17th Street.
Captain:	How could you possibly know that? 每個 possibility 嘅 probability都唔一樣。possibility 可能出現的情形；probability 即可能性。
Monk:	We were meeting at my house. He probably took Cole. I'm thinking he was killed at that stop sign on 17th Street. 死者與 Monk 約好到 Monk 家見面。就在大家各自去緊 Monk 到時，死者就比人襲擊。所以用 past continuous -- were meeting。
Captain:	Why 17th?
Monk:	There's a homeless shelter there. They wash windshields for spare change. I'm thinking somebody approached the car, started washing the window and then attacked him. You can see the windsheld even better from here. The driver's side's clean. The passenger side's filthy. 用 parallel 來特出動作的次序：approached , started (washing), attacked不要少看 simple short sentences。它有示範、急速節奏、對事情厭煩的效果。  -- He ran. I followed. He turned around the corner. I turned. Boom! I bumped into a garbage bin.  -- I work. I cook. I clean. I do the grocery shopping. I pay the bills. And you wanna have sex!

The Hurdle in Learning English

我見過有人太愛日本文化，又儲錢又學日文，然後一口氣去成個幾月日本旅行。翻嚟個滿足樣  。

學セ都要有心 (passion) 。無心自然懶。啲細路打機打通頂，你話佢哋係幾咁鐘意打機？出嚟做事都係。無心都要扮到好有 heart 咁，又進修又 O.T. (overtime)。如果唔系，咁多亞豬亞狗，點解要請你？

有啲人話幾想幾想學好啲英文。其實唔系佢哋 想。係佢哋老世想。問多兩句攪清楚啲英文程度就比啲九唔塔八嘅答案比你。又話之前講過，又話系中幾嘅程度 ...... 咁不如答我識即是空，空即是識算嘞。如果我系老細，問多你兩句都兼煩，咁咪做嘞。如果有心，有人肯幫你， lur 飯應啦。答到你唔想聽添呀，方死你唔清楚添呀。  It's all about attitude.  有啲人乜鬼都想學。真系想日日去教佢呀。

香港好多學生本身好被動 (定系懶呢？) 。你講乜佢就做乜。你無講，佢又唔理。比啲免費練習嘅網頁佢*，好勤力咁抄。下次問有無人上去做過，無人啋你。咁上去睇吓呢？－冇－     對於課堂外嘅嘢咁漠不關心，到高考時方恨無珍惜留意就遲嘞。作文時成日問「點寫」，因為缺乏資料意見－無料到！

介紹【不中不英 Double Talk】(HKD72)－雖然講的嘢舊咗啲，但吸收吓人哋嘅經驗，學吓人家點樣批評唔攻擊嘅技考。無人叫你文縐縐，簡單嘅字都可以表達得好清楚。書中除了中英對照，重有陶傑殕釋作者嘅文筆。

另外中文書有蔡子強嘅【新君王論】。有幾輯。揀輯啱自已嘅。增多資料，人哋嘅見解；慢慢就會有自己嘅一套咖喇。

*http://www.hkedcity.net/article/ec-pra-hkale/home/
http://englishplace.wetpaint.com/page/Study+Tips
http://ue-eng.ilongman.com/index.asp

拜山

起身。忽然話拜山，咁咪拜囉。

大概行咗兩三條 staircases，C 就大嗌「我要唞。我要唞。」
B 「吓？你唔系成日做運動咖咩？」
C 「我唔做行樓梯。」合埋雙眼唞。

裝吓佢個旅行袋咁大嘅 LV 袋有啲乜：金銀衣紙？燒豬切雞？錯。系煙仔火機。又食煙又運動 (只為減肥) ，咁樣捐耗肺功能，真系唞得就好唞吓喇。

唔駛燒衣，好快攪掂，去飲茶。 C 電話響。
「... 咁咪嚟我到住囉。... 點會啫。唔會。得咖啦，嚟我到住喇。」
C 媽，A 「邊個嚟咖？」
「我老闆。以前加拿大嗰老闆。」
「男人嚟咖？」
「系呀。唔好呀？」
「吓？男人唔方便喎。」
「@#$%*& ... 你唔鐘意講聲唔好就得咖嘞 ... *&%$#@ ... 都話自已出去住咖啦，你又唔比。」去廁所。
A 「你睇佢，幾野蠻。邊個唔比佢自已出去住啫？有錢咪自已出去住囉。」
系你唔比 【錢】 佢自已出去住呀。聽唔明呀？
我 「第一，間屋系你嘅，好應該問吓屋主。就算唔系，大家一齊住，好應該尊重吓人，問吓人哋。佢唔識尊重人哋。」

講真。系 A 竉壞佢。怕咗佢就由佢刁蠻。咁就咪麻怨。唔想受氣就做啲嘢啦。又或者佢唔系怨，系晒命，好 enjoy ！

過關。C 走嚟話啲海關亞嬸就睇都唔睇，佢就睇完又睇。嘩，佢唔系想我話系因為佢靚吖嘛？「啲師奶亞嬸個樣唔多變吖嘛。靚妹頭髮又長又短，又攣又直。一陣間又化裝，又唔化裝吖嘛。」
「系喎。」好滿意咁。
敝！前面塞車！
C 「... 都話唔去咖啦。系都要今日去。... %$#*@」

－ 生骨大頭菜*！－

Type A or Type B?

CASE 1
You go to this new hotel and order a cup of regular coffee.  Then, you realise that it costs $100!  The coffee arrives and you have the first sip.  YUCK!!  It tastes like mud!  Now, what would you do?

Type A:
You'll have to pay that $100 anyway, you decide not to further torture yourself by finish up that coffee.

Type B:
It costs $100!!  You better finish that damn cup of coffee.

CASE 2
If you use a lot of kitchen papers, you'll probably be destroying woods and forests.  If you use table cloth instead, you'll need to wash it with detergents.  Is detergent environmentally friendly?  Well, you'll surely need water.

Type A:
Use them reasonably.  Use the cheapest when a lot is needed.  Use kitchen paper when it's too troublesome to use table cloth.

Type B:
Insist that there should be a more environmentally friendly between the two.  Do a lot of research and find the best solution.

死都要按

每次到上海一定去老鋪 dragonfly 按一按。我試過中、日、香薰 (RMB135) 及普通修甲 (RMB100，全 O.P.I. 產品)。package 10 張 8 折，20 張 7 折。見 2 老外都修甲 (男士RMB80)，問有冇男人要油色。一般油都油淺色，有個 model 試過要油 sharp 嘅色。聽聞街口附近有好多此等乸型 (metrosexual) 出沒。 Gotta check them out sometime!

www.dragonfly.net.cn

Local Fast Food

中國人都有好多種快餐。鬼佬有炸雞炸魚，上海有蒸雞－振鼎雞。

呢個早收鋪 19:00!

Shanghai - Soho

咁紅重認唔到？

懶 + 後面有人 = 無映自已，映前面

賣泰國嘢，夠特別囉啩。(除咗米，家，人妖)

連 okusan 都咁前衛： PJ + 黑色村姑鞋！

响上海好多餐廳唔知為セ唔比映相 (又貴又唔特別嘅 1931 就系其中一個嘞) ，所以無セ點映。加上唔記得帶 charger ......

2007 Shanghai F1 事件

A 話有條似西班牙仔打尖，叫佢排隊，佢猛話 "come on" 。

Come on ，排隊啦！Come on ！

牙仔唔知點樣响後面排排吓走咗上前去到 A 到撩事鬥飛。 "I'm here!" 然後正甩 A 頂帽。 A 就掛住响地下揾帽 (成 RMB300 咖嘛)。 A 啲朋友 KH，KW 同 FA 已經將牙仔夾住。牙仔得一條友，開始劣。

我問 KH "咁你哋同佢 (牙仔) 講咩呀？"
KH "講英文囉。"
"係咪即係 '英文英文英文...' 咁同佢講呀？"
"......"

KH 係一個 IT 人，講親嘢都激死人。鬼唔知講英文咩！人哋用英文，你就講面班牙文呀？真系比佢激死。

"佢咪猛講 'What's up?  What's up?' 咁囉。"
"咁你點答佢？定系打濕佢？"
"咁我都好斯文嘅，話佢呢啲講英文嘅就好好表現吓自已，咪影衰自已個文族。咁囉。"

我想像出呢嘅：
"What 'what'?  Who the hell you think you are?  This is China!  Are you Chinese?  Are you?  Then don't do anything stupid, jerk!"

實情「呢啲講英文嘅」系咩意思？可圈可點。

Conclusion

Conclusion 寫啲咩好？又寫番 introduction 嗰句？無嘢吖嘛，咁咪即系無嘢寫，無料到。

都系跟亞媽學啦。亞媽講完三篤屁就會問你點咖嘛。你就記住自已呢句，作論文時用呢問番自已「咩點吖？咁又點呀？」

「咩點吖？」就重新番你個立場。「咁又點呀？」就系包括：1. 有冇對你個人有影响2. 你點睇呢單嘢嘅前景3. 你對呢單嘢嘅感受4. (勁人先好用)有關又應棍嘅名人金句。

只要能夠用到其中一個都夠咖勒。

Diage 2007

Last year when I took a night view of Diage (a restaurant), it was full of lights and grass.  Everybody told me it's beautiful.

Now, there's no more grass, fewer lights and quite a lot of parties.  I guess it's renovated to fit as many people as possible.  How's the food there?  Well, comme ci comme ça.

And this is the balcony.  Isn't as unique as before ~ ~

Topic Sentences 主題句

有中七同學重未掌握到 topic sentence 系乜，响到簡易介紹吓先。

主題句 topic sentence 就好似亞媽依依哦哦都系三篤屁咁，三個主題：唔好拍拖 (2nd paragarph)，唔好出夜街 (3rd paragarph)，讀好啲書 (4th paragarph)。

佢 就咁講句 topic sentence「仔呀，你重係細，咪掛住拍拖著呀。」你緊系唔聽咖嘛，所以佢會講多啲其他 supportive details 。譬如系故事性嘅：「隔籬屋阿蝦仔以前年年考第一，同對面嗰座朱太個女拍拖唔夠3個月啫嘛，即刻要見家長喇。好似話偷同學錢拍拖呀。」咁同我有乜關系呢？ 「你咪話想買架『咩拉你』跑車咖咩？成績唔好無前途點買呀？拍拖買唔到『咩拉你』跑車咖。有『咩拉你』跑車駛慌無拖拍咩！」事實性嘅，首先復述『新聞：大 學生為情亡』之詳情再 comment 「你睇，大好青年要生要死，為咩？咁叻仔就蠢响女人手到。通街都系女人啦。廿幾歲仔咋，真系無陰公。可憐佢老母養到佢咁大。」咁就系第二段囉！

第三、四段用同樣手法同格式就叫做 parallel 勒。一樣咖嘛，咪平衡囉。

Dress Code

Today, if your company has a strict dress code policy (especially in details), your company is probably full of jerks that don't know how to dress to work appropriately. You better start looking for better.

-- If you're a jerk, ignore this message. --

A new headmaster, explained that a parent complained a teacher who dressed too sexy. A school with more than a thousand students and teachers, policy changes just because of one anonymous parent's complaint. Anyone can understand the intention of some one behind this political pretence. A strict and detailed dress code is born. All female teachers must wear dresses/skirts. Somehow a dress can do something that pants can't. If that's so, how are those male teachers going to survive without the help of this magical dress? Maybe the headmaster should consider a kilt (蘇格蘭男用短裙) or sarong (馬來群島土人所著的圍裙). You see, this is a highly-intolerance-multicultural-environmental school.

Instead of dealing with one silly dressed colleague, everybody will follow an ambiguous code. Something that no one can ever completely controlled over. No mini-skirt, and you see someone wears long dress with a split up to the buttocks. No mini-skirt and no split, and you see someone wear a dress and long tights underneath. No mini-skirt, no split and no tights, and one day someone's tits were shown. No mini-skirt, no split, no tights and must have bras, someone wears a swimming suit with a long sarong … How long can you make a dress code? How about just fire the "sexy teacher"?

Overslept at a Sleep-Over

遲到，入到課室只埋頭揾位，因為尷尬，唔知要做啲乜。What's your name?Cha...Si...M...
Cha-siu (义燒) ?
Chan Siu Ming.Sorry, I can't hear you.  Please speak up.  What's your name again?
Chan Siu Ming.  [Now everybody hears that Chan Siu Ming is late.  Quite embarrassing.]OK.  Chan Siu Ming must be very busy.  He's late and didn't even bother to tell me why.  Busy man, but still manage to come to this class.  Let's give him a clap.  [Everybody laugh and clap.]

Chan Siu Ming had a hard time when he was late and impolite.  陳小明遲到又沒禮貌時被刁難。不少同學遲到進課室時都很沒禮貌。遲到已經衰咗，入到課室又唔敲門又唔道歉又唔打招呼又唔解釋......衰多幾成。酒店都有限時 check in (登記，報到) 啦。如果老師系老板，呢位同學都唔駛揾位，返屋企等運到。

遲到嘅原因一般都系瞓晏咗。咁就應該話： I'm sorry.  I overslept (用過去式).  咪只系講瞓晏咗，比埋個原因。  Because you shouldn't oversleep. 

oversleep 即「睡過頭」；而 sleep over 即 (phrasal verb 動詞) 「睡在別人家」，sleep-over (noun 名詞)。在外國，小朋友都很愛到朋友家玩，然後睡，起來又可再玩。亦叫 slumber party 。在香港，地方小，比較難招呼其他小朋友 sleep over。大朋友 (尤其一男一女，或有特別性取向嘅兩個成人) 就叫 sleep with (someone) 喇。
A:  Did you sleep with X?
B:  I'm not answering this question.
A:  Did you sleep with Y then?B:  I'm not answering this question.
A:  Did you sleep with Z?
B:  I certainly did not sleep with Z!

No Better Things to Do 食飽飯冇「嘢做」

廣東話好鬼抵死。pat pat ，屁股，籮友，籮 pat 都可愛過 -- 屎忽！好鬼死繪形繪聲。  No better things to do 中文核突版 「食飽飯冇屎痾」。

e.g.   "And they have no better things to do like sniffing cow dung or something than being a nosey parker."  /  "and now just attracts weird comment strings amongst loosers with no better things to do"

I'm telling you.  The planets are full of these people!   Usually , they think they are smart but they're no better than smartass-es.

no better than [xx] 唔好得過[xx] / 即系一樣咁......

smartass 懶醒嘅人。字面系醒目嘅屎忽。咁都可能好得過舊屎嘅。 asshole 就系屎忽窿。指「喪」黑人憎嘅人。老細嘅別名 (講笑) 。

A famous office joke about a-hole.

Corporate Life Cycle


An organization is like a tree full of monkey - all on different levels, some climbing up. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys at the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

All the time, the monkeys on the top will get the FRUITS first, and most of the time, they will eventually produce SHIT for all the monkeys below. And all the time, that's what the monkeys below will get.

For those monkeys who are climbing up, they have to first KISS plenty of ass in order to move up. How high they climb, will have to depend on how good they kiss. And always if the one on top will not kiss any ass, his ass will get KICKED.

During times of great difficulties and hardships, the monkeys on the top may fall a few branches down and hit the monkeys below. The monkeys below will be fallen upon an eventually some will FALL OFF the tree, as in retrenched. As compensation these monkeys that fell off get to keep the fruits that were shaken off the tree during the commotion. The tree becomes lighter and life slowly returns to normal.

And that my friends is what we call a Corporate Life Cycle.

[http://web1.mtnl.net.in/~neetuk/mgtthought.htm]

So here I am, a smartass with no better things to do but talking about ass and shit which I'm no better than.  都系講笑，我無味咖！

Talk to the Hand

Sing, Exercise and be Rude

「費事采你！」-- 耳唔聽，同隻手講啦！-- 系呀，都幾無禮貌咖。不過呢個世界上真有唔少人，連手都唔想聽佢講。我嘅 in-laws 入面有一個經常發爛渣，手都頂唔順啊！咁同佢講咩？咁就要去「英文-Dirty」囉！

Jerry Springer 'N' 年前好正經嘅 talk show ，但系依家同 home-made wrestling show 無異。依家重攪埋 opera ？

Money Doesn't Grow on Trees

依家呢個世界重有女人一心等待著被金龜睇中。響公司，高級嘅男性「望到」佢，咁就系有啲嘢囉喎。 Chat* room 重有人問點先可以識有錢仔。有錢唔一定比你，識到又唔一定冧你咖啫。

[讀音： 'hat' > ch-act 無 'k'，唔系 'art' > 'chart' ]

我哋通常都會回應佢：發夢冇咁早。-->In your dreams! (發夢就得)  /  You wish! (你就想喇)

響 Sex and the City 入面一幕 Samantha 好興奮向窗外大叫，有人回應 "Fxxk you!"  Samantha, "You wish!"

咁 系唔系只有「遺傳」先能夠識有錢人呢？咁又唔系，只系無咁易啫。成日去埋啲荼餐廳，只有阿 X 見到你囉。你要去有錢人出入嘅地方，參與佢地 enjoy 嘅嘢，著到好似佢哋咁 ...... 無錯啦！即系要用「錢」装備好你自已，咁你就會識到啲有錢人啦！ -- 但系只系第一步咋喎。重要令佢鐘意你呢！咪以為現實會有好似「流星花園」咁，全國最有錢嘅人嗰仔就系乜人都唔要，就系唔知セ鬼原因只系鐘意嗰碌「杉」 菜！--咁煩？Of course, money doesn't grow on trees!

好多媽咪都好明白呢個道理。所以，佢哋為了令自已子女入到某啲心水學校，攪一大輪令自己入去學校做教師。等到仔女大就順利入學。不過可能到時學校由「心水」 (band 1) 變得好「水皮」 (band 3) 。

Look, who wants to go to school with their mums?

「好度有度」--用普通話讀英文

英文是：  How do you do?  哈哈哈哈...

...

嘩！呢本書好耐以前買。講一位婆婆同公公走到美國留學再結埋婚嘅仔到幫佢湊仔，即系湊孫。婆婆唔識英文，用 pinyin 嘅方法講。當初都望住本書好耐 -- 咩叫「好度有度」？呢本書好深。

就算新一代嘅英文人都未必知呢句陳年舊招呼。就等如 hi 就 hi 番對方就得嘞。

A:  How do you do?
B:  How do you do?
A:  How do you do?
B:  How do you do?
...

究竟重要講到幾時？...... (講笑，一人一句就可以單刀直入咖啦。)

各有所好 Preference

同朋友去食魚生。有人食蟹柳，我倆都唔明點解。無乜味咖啫，但都唔平咖喎。跟著又講吓食北極貝。我倆都不愛吃。然後又有人食枝豆。朋友話枝豆好平，响餐廳食唔底。
講真，各人有各人喜好。少油唔難，煮飯平好多，自已種菜種瓜夠新鮮......。但有心機，有時間，有工具先得咖！有啲嘢就系鐘意比錢人做服侍我。

同樣哋，有人覺得學英文要扮埋鬼佬，甚至執著到唔系英式英文都當系港式口音。

Arnold Schwarznegger (阿諾·施瓦辛格) 夠有口音啦，佢一樣做到州長。鄧小平 (四川人) 啲普通話都有口音咖。佢哋發號施令時無人聽唔明喎。不過如果佢哋想改正啲口音都無問題。各有所好。無乜啱唔啱，儍唔儍。
講開又講

大家要注意嘅系，鐘意嘅 blog 咁你咪睇囉；唔鐘意嘅咪米帮襯囉。你有你愛 Jolin ，我有我愛 Joey。又唔系比賽。
但系睇 blog 不能盡信。(尤其系我個) 你睇報紙有時有煽情字句 「死者家屬表現好傷痛」 咁你就信？睇吓幅相，又真系幾傷痛喎。但好正常咖，點解要報導啲咁嘅嘢呢？學習要帶著疑問，認真求証啊。